TwoFer

Last night I had a whole Thanksgiving post planned, but then life intervened and posting just did not happen. And I was trying to be okay with that, but in my heart, I wasn't. I have like the dailiness of this process and missing a day felt... bad.

But no sense in living in bad feelings, right? I'm so evolved.

I can't really recapture yesterday's thinking, but I do want to make sure this part is written down: I really loved my twenties.  Anytime Scott and I consider feeling discouraged about how little we have to show for ourselves as we creep in on 40, one of us will say, "Well, at least we loved our 20s".  And it's true for both of us - we had a great time being young and took advantage of that decade where the options are endless and the responsibilities few.

That said, me in my 20s isn't my favourite version of me.  And most of the time, I know this is preferred, to look at our own evolution over time and see it moving towards what is hoped for - the alternative would be worse, I'm sure.  But sometimes, when I think about my younger self, I just cringe with embarrassment. I was just so... young.

Okay, so I just wrote a whole long paragraph about my memories of American Thanksgiving and describing how amazing they were, juxtaposed as they were against my awfulness but realized that a) I don't need to post my flaws on the internet - they've been public enough as it is, and b) the stories are only half-true when I write them that way.  Suffice to say, those who were there (GSH, I'm thinking of you and our road trips to Indiana - I always had so much fun, and remember them fondly, but holy cats, you certainly knew my flaws too!) (And to the entire Chicago clan, that you were witness to the early years of my exploration of adult-faith and my lack of diplomacy and grace explaining it - well, there aren't enough sorry's in the world).

I am tempted to delete this whole post, but I really don't want to go two nights with nothing and I don't want to start over, so we'll just have to live with this one. 

It's always good to have a day where that leaves room for improvement available in the day ahead.