When Moisturizer Goes Wrong

So I'm having some major safety issues. As in, I have no idea what is safe. This was not so much of a problem when she was wee and mostly immobile but with her new-found exploring mobility, we are finding ourselves in a heap of trouble.

This morning, our first call to Poison Control. I thought the tube of moisturizer was a safe play thing. In fact, it keeps her hands busy during most diaper changes. So she's playing away with it while I put something away in the kitchen and when I turn around next, the top is off and she's got a big smear of moisturizer across her lip. She seems happy enough and she's not making "I've got icky lotion in my mouth" faces, but who knows right? So I grab the bottle and read the back to see if I should be worried and right there on the back in bold no less, "Keep out of reach of children. If swallowed, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center immediately."

Okay, so I'm a bit concerned, but mostly not really because it's a product made to be spread all over a baby's body and surely the makers realize that it's going to make it to a baby's mouth eventually, so probably it's not straight up poison. But just to be safe I'll call. Sure enough, the lady on the other end of the phone has a nice giggle and we agree together that the oats are just a bit more breakfast this morning and no harm, no foul.

Mostly, I think about how I'll tell this story on my blog.

But then slowly, I start thinking, "My God. You're going to kill her."

I would say on a scale of 1 - 10, I'm about an 8 when it comes to fear about my own personal safety. I don't like skiing or bicycle riding or roller blading because I can't stop and I'm afraid of getting hurt stopping against a very unyielding object. I, of course, am terrified of fire but mostly of getting burned. I can not jump off diving boards higher than about 18 inches off the surface of the water.

However, with my daughter, I am fearless. Sure she can climb up a lawn chair. No problem, playing with my hair dryer cord. Want to try climbing up into the playhouse out back - give 'er. Scott doesn't want her playing in the dishwasher because he sees it is unsafe - knives, dishwasher soap, to say nothing of gross dried up food items. But me, I think "fun exploring".

I think maybe in my desperation to not have a daughter paralyzed by fear as I believe myself to be, I may be exposing her to inappropriate risk. This becomes its own terrification for me.

Parenting is a funny gig if you're even halfway paying attention, in that it seems to be a constant balancing of my issues against her issues-to-be. Right now the questions are about safety, but soon they'll be about respectfulness of others or self-esteem or community action and each time it will require seeing who I am and who I wish I was and somehow balancing that against who she is and not imposing who I wish she was. Because surely that's the most dangerous thing: trying to raise her to be who I wish I was.

Crawling Home

Six days home and I still feel like we just got back. I think that's a good sign, a lingering holiday feeling. Talia returned to 'normal', whatever today's definition of that is, within a day so that feels extra lucky. I think she's wondering what happened to all the people though. Every morning she wakes up and looks very hopefully out her bedroom door, pointing to where she thinks the action is and saying "Doh?" Not sure what it means, but I think it's something like "more fun out there?"

The timing of this holiday (March instead of January) is kind of nice - we left in winter and came back in spring. Scott limed the lawn this week and is heading out to prepare the beds for planting. Hosta heads are peeking through the soil, next to the deep red peony beginnings. Our mostly dead maple is being a tiny bit alive and I got to show T. the budding leaves - her first Spring moment! I'll post some photos of the garden next time I guess, to match this post. But for now, a few last pictures from Hawaii, for the record.

Aloha Addiction

Yes, this lifestyle is easy to get used to. Wake, eat, swim, read, eat, read, eat, eat, sleep. Probably I should swim more. Talia does indeed love all the swimming and is doing a formidable job of going, going, going, despite perhaps inadequate rest.

Scott would be resting better if there weren't irrigation systems being set up everywhere he looks, reminding him of the work that awaits him when he gets home. A bit of a drag, but I'm trying to keep him clear of that as much as possible. And making sprinkler jokes when I can remember. You'd be surprised how few sprinkler jokes there are though. If you know any, please pass them along.

We are also slowly coming to terms with the truth that a holiday is not so much a holiday once a baby is invited to join in. There is no holiday from her, God bless her. This should not be bad news and probably long-term it isn't, but this morning after another too short sleep both Scott and I are wondering why we brought her. Or if maybe she could just stay at another hotel for a few nights so that we can actually rest. If I'm going to be tired and cranky with a tired and cranky husband, I guess this is probably a really nice place to be.

How wrong is it to complain about 10 day in Hawaii?

Okay, so now just more photos and maybe a video or two for fun too. I mean, there is fun here.

And yes, I am on this vacation... even though this pains me.

But we must end on a cute note, musn't we?

Aloha Two!

Another day (or two) in paradise. We have had a great stretch of weather so far - 80ish with sun and then hazy afternoons just when you think maybe you should be heading inside to get out of the sun. T. is loving the beach and sand and ocean and pool - quite the water baby our girl. She and Scott play together all day, except when she's being mad about trying for a nap. Happily she remains happy, even being underslept. I guess she figures there will be lots of rainy days for sleeping when we get home. Clever girl.

And one last video. Of her pining for her grandmother. All she talks about really... 'Where's Grandma?' All damned day.

Aloha!

I won't bore you with VacationLand stories, but suffice to say we are all here in one piece and enjoying hot sun and good friends. Love it! T. did well on the plane - not quite as much sleeping as I had hoped, but happy anyway. She's still a bit off on the sleep front but seems to love the holiday lifestyle as much as we do. Especially with all the fun attention and people everywhere. A few images from the first day of play (1. "that's me! in the window!" 2. this makes it a much better boat when dad drives it 3. T. and Auntie Kathy doing a tour).

Why We Should Babyproof

The photo is a bit underexposed, saying a bit more about the dark, seedy underbelly that is home for young Talia Grace. This photo will probably be used in her tell-all book about being underloved from her very beginnings. Is it bad that I still haven't moved the booze off the shelf though? I keep thinking I'll have new shelving to store it in one of these days, so why bother moving it now?? Poor thing. What will I do if she figures out how to unscrew the tops?

Happily, this photo also means that we are back home after our 2 weeks at Grandma & Poppa's. It was a nice time with them and I think T. is now wondering where all the people are. Good news - in 3 sleeps we'll be with lots of people again when we get to Hawaii with Terry and Chelsea. Jan Q. will be there and of course, our wonderful hosts Pete & Kathy will be there too. Our little extrovert will be in her element!

Scott is finishing up the bathroom and had a helper this week:


The bathroom looks fabulous I think. Well worth the exile. Cute Talia though is a bit dad-crazy after all the separation and wouldn't leave Scott alone while he worked. Would whine any time I moved her away. It was too cute and I do love their sweet little world.

There is probably lots more to write but I'm up to my eyeballs in laundry, so this will have to do for now. More later, unless I'm too busy getting a sunburn on the beach...

A.