Dinner tonight was penne and chicken in brandy sauce. Laurie made it. For me. Because she knew it was my favourite meal with the Pfisterer Family. It felt like a blessing or a benediction, if those aren’t the same thing. An undeserved grace.
Visiting New Jersey is tricky. I’m not sure how I could have left better, but I also know that my leaving was a bit... abrupt and hurtful maybe. Coming back here means remembering my own capacity to do damage. It also means remembering some of the very best moments of my life.
Tonight after dinner with Laurie and John and Heidi and Johnny, I went bowling with the boy and Shannon and Jeff and his daughter and we had a good time. But mostly me and my Point Street family. We were the funniest, and the funnest and it was so sweet and good to be together and remember that we were the three of us good gifts to each other.
Now I’ve just Skyped with Scott and the kids and I feel again the not-rightness of having all this space between me and my sweet ones, and know that being with them required not being here and every once in the while, I have to remember that that wasn’t free.
There’s more to say but not even I can say it all.
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