Lent 17

Yesterday I decided I would stop worrying about what my kids eat. Since my first child was born, feeding kids has been a source of anxiety, fear, anger, resentment, guilt and about 13 other bad feelings. Yesterday I decided I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeding them fishsticks and carrots and brown rice, and feeling like an awful person because Captain Highliner breaded the fish instead of me. I'm tired of choosing organic yogurt so that the cashier will think I'm that kind of mother, even though neither of my kids like yogurt and I only use it in smoothies. Sometimes. I'm just tired of feeling bad all the time.

David is not.

This morning, yet another Psalm with David boo-hooing about how everybody hates him, about how he's almost drowning in the awfulness that is his life. Another Psalm with David beseeching God to show all those assholes how awesome David really is by offing all the bad guys and being super gruesome and mean about it. Oh, and a bit of praise thrown in at the end so that you know, it sounds good.

It may be time for Sarah to call up David and Speak The Truth In Love:  You're a whiner David, and a bad husband. Suck it up buttercup.

I wonder a bit if God doesn't love this collection of readings, if God isn't up in God-world having a little chuckle: See how annoying it is when you hear it day after day after day, after day, after day...? I know, right? Kind of makes you wish a person would just get up and walk. Maybe stop making so many enemies?

The God I love laughs a lot. At us. Because when God doesn't laugh, Jeremiah happens. And ever since Jesus showed up and did the fully human gig and became our redemption, God doesn't have to be so mad.  It is finished, so God can just smirk cause God knows how it ends. 

That doesn't make David any less annoying though. And probably, me neither. So if I can stick out the neutral on food, I'm going to try doing the same thing with all things spiritual. I'm tired of whining, of only seeing the parts I'm getting wrong. I'm going to give walking a try and see where that gets me.  You?

Psalm 69

For the director of music. To the tune of “Lilies.” Of David.

¹ Save me, O God,
    for the waters have come up to my neck.
² I sink in the miry depths,
    where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
    the floods engulf me.
³ I am worn out calling for help;
    my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
    looking for my God.
⁴ Those who hate me without reason
    outnumber the hairs of my head;
many are my enemies without cause,
    those who seek to destroy me.
I am forced to restore
    what I did not steal.

⁵ You, God, know my folly;
    my guilt is not hidden from you.

⁶ Lord, the Lord Almighty,
    may those who hope in you
    not be disgraced because of me;
God of Israel,
    may those who seek you
    not be put to shame because of me.
⁷ For I endure scorn for your sake,
    and shame covers my face.
⁸ I am a foreigner to my own family,
    a stranger to my own mother’s children;
⁹ for zeal for your house consumes me,
    and the insults of those who insult you fall on me.
¹⁰ When I weep and fast,
    I must endure scorn;
¹¹ when I put on sackcloth,
    people make sport of me.
¹² Those who sit at the gate mock me,
    and I am the song of the drunkards.

¹³ But I pray to you, Lord,
    in the time of your favor;
in your great love, O God,
    answer me with your sure salvation.
¹⁴ Rescue me from the mire,
    do not let me sink;
deliver me from those who hate me,
    from the deep waters.
¹⁵ Do not let the floodwaters engulf me
    or the depths swallow me up
    or the pit close its mouth over me.

¹⁶ Answer me, Lord, out of the goodness of your love;
    in your great mercy turn to me.
¹⁷ Do not hide your face from your servant;
    answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.
¹⁸ Come near and rescue me;
    deliver me because of my foes.

¹⁹ You know how I am scorned, disgraced and shamed;
    all my enemies are before you.
²⁰ Scorn has broken my heart
    and has left me helpless;
I looked for sympathy, but there was none,
    for comforters, but I found none.
²¹ They put gall in my food
    and gave me vinegar for my thirst.

²² May the table set before them become a snare;
    may it become retribution and^[b] a trap.
²³ May their eyes be darkened so they cannot see,
    and their backs be bent forever.
²⁴ Pour out your wrath on them;
    let your fierce anger overtake them.
²⁵ May their place be deserted;
    let there be no one to dwell in their tents.
²⁶ For they persecute those you wound
    and talk about the pain of those you hurt.
²⁷ Charge them with crime upon crime;
    do not let them share in your salvation.
²⁸ May they be blotted out of the book of life
    and not be listed with the righteous.

²⁹ But as for me, afflicted and in pain—
    may your salvation, God, protect me.

³⁰ I will praise God’s name in song
    and glorify him with thanksgiving.
³¹ This will please the Lord more than an ox,
    more than a bull with its horns and hooves.
³² The poor will see and be glad—
    you who seek God, may your hearts live!
³³ The Lord hears the needy
    and does not despise his captive people.

³⁴ Let heaven and earth praise him,
    the seas and all that move in them,
³⁵ for God will save Zion
    and rebuild the cities of Judah.
Then people will settle there and possess it;
³⁶     the children of his servants will inherit it,
    and those who love his name will dwell there.