Lent 22

This week marks the one year anniversary of my beloved's mother dying. It marks the end of the most difficult year in our marriage and the first year of life without her. It has not been a particularly terrible week - we had a nice visit with Pops on the weekend, and have had a few moments to remember how glad we are it is over. But mostly, we remember her, and who she was and what it was like when she was around. When we're honest, it's a bit mixed, but we're funny people who manage to get to light at the end of it all, so that seems alright.

This morning, I'm finding Lent a bit long. Forty out of 365 days is like, 11% of the year devoted to remembering the time Jesus died. Or is it 42? I don't even know how long we do this for! Oh dear. I'm the worst Lenter ever. I've started cheating on my fast, sometimes with a good reason, but mostly because I forget that I'm still fasting.

I'm like Peter in the garden, falling asleep while Jesus prays. Sorry Jesus.

What I notice though, thinking about Joanne this week, is that while the pain of her dying is still present, and still part of what we're remembering (and I guess too, the relief of that pain ending), what we are mostly remembering is who she was and the things she said and the work she did in all the years before that last year.

Reading all these passages every day is like reading all the hopes for who Jesus was going to be in the Old Testament and then some stories about who he was in the Gospels, and finally how the people he loved came to remember him after he left.

I'm not sure what matters more - who he actually was, or how he came to be remembered.

Either way, twice today we are reminded that the gig is mostly hope: "We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us." (Rom 5: 3 - 5) Then, "Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed." (Ps 119: 116).

I have no idea how to connect these two thoughts, so I'll leave it at that.

Romans 5

New International Version (NIV)

Peace and Hope

5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we^[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we^[b] boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we^[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

⁶ You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸ But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
⁹ Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! ¹⁰ For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! ¹¹ Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.