Lent 7

The readings leave me troubled this morning. Unsettled. And more than any other morning so far, it is the collection of them together that is a bother. The Psalm is a bit odd and sits on it's own, but when we read the Deuteronomy story with the passage from Hebrews with the story in John, it is hard to avoid a God who is really, really angry. And a bit disappointed. And resigned.

I have enjoyed my cleverness as you'll know. I have enjoyed figuring out what the Word is saying to me, and how profound and awesome that is. I like pretending that one of the other two people reading this - namely, my mother - will be a awestruck too, at the surprising depth and new revelations I trip across this Lent.

It's not that I'm not taking seriously the words themselves - my sin is real and foolishness and wisdom and wine and all that - all of it makes me thoughtful and grateful for our God. But I do find it difficult to sink into a darkness and linger in the terrible of being human. I don't want to wallow in my broken self today, just because it's Lent. I'll do that soon enough, just because it's Day 26 of my cycle.

And yet, when I read God's words to the people of Israel - You are a stiff-necked people. Don't think I did this for you! I did this because I made a promise to Moses and Abraham. Your righteousness is a joke. - it is hard to avoid hearing a quiet rebuke to this heart. When I read in Hebrews again, the line about not being allowed to enter in God's rest because our hearts are always going astray... I can't help but think that my daily walk down I'm So Awesome Alley isn't maybe considered "astray".

This is the season for being troubled and so as warmly as I can, I welcome this. I will do my best imitation of prayer this morning and ask what it is that I'm meant to hear, and how I'm meant to be changed by what it is that's said. 

I'll do that.

I leave you with Deutoronomy, but do read the others for the day.

Deuteronomy 9:4-12

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ After the Lord your God has driven them out before you, do not say to yourself, “The Lord has brought me here to take possession of this land because of my righteousness.” No, it is on account of the wickedness of these nations that the Lord is going to drive them out before you. ⁵ It is not because of your righteousness or your integrity that you are going in to take possession of their land; but on account of the wickedness of these nations, the Lord your God will drive them out before you, to accomplish what he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. ⁶ Understand, then, that it is not because of your righteousness that the Lord your God is giving you this good land to possess, for you are a stiff-necked people.

The Golden Calf

⁷ Remember this and never forget how you aroused the anger of the Lord your God in the wilderness. From the day you left Egypt until you arrived here, you have been rebellious against the Lord. ⁸ At Horeb you aroused the Lord’s wrath so that he was angry enough to destroy you. ⁹ When I went up on the mountain to receive the tablets of stone, the tablets of the covenant that the Lord had made with you, I stayed on the mountain forty days and forty nights; I ate no bread and drank no water. ¹⁰ The Lord gave me two stone tablets inscribed by the finger of God. On them were all the commandments the Lord proclaimed to you on the mountain out of the fire, on the day of the assembly.
¹¹ At the end of the forty days and forty nights, the Lord gave me the two stone tablets, the tablets of the covenant. ¹² Then the Lord told me, “Go down from here at once, because your people whom you brought out of Egypt have become corrupt. They have turned away quickly from what I commanded them and have made an idol for themselves.”