Right now, this is all about volume. Just getting words down. Because sometimes wanting to be a writer is no substitute for actually you know, writing.
There is much in life that is like this. Maybe all of life is like this.
I have heard before about how we ought to stop with all the thinking and really get down to the doing. I am saying it differently for me this year: I want to stop with all the wanting and really get down to the being.
Some of this is about living in the moment and being present and all that mumbo jumbo. But a lot of it is about figuring out the nature of change.
It is really, really, really difficult to convince someone else to change their minds. It turns out most of us want to stay just the way we are. Fucking Mr. Rogers - look what he's created. All of us sure and certain that what we think and how we act as a result is perfectly fine.
But of course, we're not perfectly fine. Most of us could use some fine tuning. Many of us could use a major overhaul. And yet we're so reluctant, so reticent to make any adjustment at all because to do so would require first the concession that just the way we are is maybe kind of... crappy.
But to change how we are being, we have to change how we are thinking. In case that's not clear, we have to change our mind. Which brings it back to the part where it's really, really, really difficult to convince someone else to change their minds. The only thing harder is convincing our own selves to change our own minds.
Right now, I'm trying to change my mind about a few things: writing, exercise, marriage, parenting, church. I have tried for a few years now to read new things and talk to new people and even write new things on all of these, but so far my mind is mostly still the same. So this time, I'm going with being differently. I'm starting with writing to see if writing more often will change my mind about whether or not I'm a writer. Next week I'm going to try exercising to see if being someone who strengthens her body will actually make me strong.
I'll let you know how it goes. If my mind can be changed... well, maybe I'll be friends with Mr. Rogers after all.
1 comment:
I have loved your prolificism. Your posts where you are too dang hard on yourself are not my favorite, but that's only because I am in Hawaii, and therefore I am unable to simply drive north and smack you silly. And then give you a big hug.
Rest assured, if you pull that when I am back home, I will show up on your doorstep and punch-hug you.
Do you know how many blogs I read regularly? Two. Yours and Writer Unboxed. Most all others bore me.
OK? So keep writing, you knucklehead! Love you!
:)
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