Ten Days

If it had been 40 Days, I guess I could have called it a fast, right?

Ten Days.  A Spiritual Discipline of Silence? Blog Silence? almost.

There were too many words for all that has happened. Keeping them untyped seemed like a requirement, not only for the reasons written in my last post, but for adequate percolation. Some thoughts have to sit still for a time to become fully thought.  I think. I suppose 'percolation' and sitting still don't really work together. See, I'm getting rusty.

Also, there was also a need to remember (decide?) what this blog is about.  I don't want it to be a blog about Two Moms With Cancer, because dear Lord, let my life be bigger than that. And yet obviously, surely, something must be said about having Two Moms With Cancer. Oh, the dilemma.

But, no dilemma really, because I am quick to remember that my passion is Me! So back to me!

Well first, both of our mothers have cancer. They were diagnosed within days of each other. Were you to need more details than that, I do hope you would find a way to let me know and I could find a way to let you know.  It is hard not to take this turn of events personally.  I realize both of our mothers believe that it is Their Event, but no, it would seem this is about Me.  If it isn't in the strictest sense, you will all be heartened to know that I have done an admirable job of making it so in the most casual, yet all-consuming sense.

One thing that of course I am enjoying, is that I was right.   It wasn't me then, but it is me now.  And I do remember that the Good is True.  So far.  In fairness, the Hard isn't as hard as it's probably going to get, but it's pretty fucking hard and I can still say that there is Good.  That's pretty good, right?

This is the upside to not having a personal theology that requires success as proof of God's approval, that trusts that All is Well even when most things suck. Because when things start to suck and life is looking pretty fucking dreary, there is no crisis that God is Not, that God has Failed, that God is an Asshole.  There's just the reassurance that God Is and therefore All is Indeed Well.

I'll let you know how long it lasts.