These Simple Mom people are killing me. I may have to quit them soon.
This morning's post was about - well, I don't even know what it was about. I just know that reading it left me feeling like shit.
The difficulty is that it isn't the kind of bad feeling where I'm annoyed because the content is so terribly wrong or the writing is so heart-breakingly poor. It's the kind of bad feeling where I find myself wondering if I'm on the entirely wrong road. The kind where I start to think maybe God is in heaven looking at the map, then looking back at me, and wondering if maybe he overestimated me afterall: "Seriously? She thought that was north?"
To be honest, I mostly don't think that God works this way. I think God has read most of the same parenting books I have and really tries to use positive messaging to nudge us about. Shame and fear, as God well knows after all those debacles of the Old Testament, aren't effective in moving people in they way they should go. But are low-grade nausea and a hunger to do something different on the list too?
I don't know. I do know this - I'm not settled these days and it's not clear to me where settledness lies. Reading other people's journeys makes me itchier still to get moving, but alas, it's my own journey I must take. I wonder if there's a back up copy of the map God's looking at that I could borrow...
6 comments:
Living in the sweet spot. I like it.
How did I manage to make this sound like the sweet spot?
It was a quote from the post...
The simple mom post, near the end. I had said something similar in my posting back in the spring. Where work is enjoyable, but not all consuming in order to pay the bills and live a satisfying life.
That's the thing I find most tricky and frustrating about God's map: I often don't know that I am where He wanted me to be until long after I arrived. I do know that God wants good (though not necessarily easy or happy)things for us. There is great comfort in that. Sometimes when I don't know whether I am on His path-plan, I just say, "God, be with me." OVER AND OVER AND OVER. His response is always the same: "I Am." So that's cool. :)
@Mamabear, I should have known it was that dumb Tsh's sweet spot. I wish she had explained more about how to make one person's sweet spot an entire family's sweet spot. I could use that right now.
@Sarah, God Be With Me indeed. I'm a bit afraid to pray it this week in case this is the time he says "I'm over here" and it's somewhere I can't get to... Oh dear. And now I'm crying. Thanks a lot. But maybe there's a top secret brave corner of my heart that will manage to whisper a God Be With Me. I'll let you know.
Post a Comment