Monday, August 30, 2010

Objects in the Mirror Are Further Away Than They Appear

I don't like my period. I realize evolved, self-loving women embrace the rhythms of their body, celebrating each moon and delighting in the marvel that is Woman. I am neither evolved, nor self-loving. In this regard.

Unfortunately, I don't like ingesting hormones or installing plastics and/or metals in my insides either, so each month I get to Live Fully In The Natural Wonder of Woman. As any 7th grader can tell you, this means experiencing skin changes, mood changes and comfort changes.

For the last 24, 25 years, I have focused pretty exclusively on the Change To Bad: my bad skin, my bad mood and my massive discomfort. But this month, an epiphany - there may be a Change To Good. Or at least to the Not That Bad.

It started on Friday night, watching the football game.  A BC Lions receiver fell onto signage and injured his throat. There was much writhing and serious trainer faces and grimmer player faces while the play-by-play crew tried to diagnose which terrible injury had felled this man. And I wept, for the fear he felt, for his wife and mother watching, for his children... for the fear they all must be feeling, watching helpless as his pain was televised for our entertainment.

On Sunday night, Scott and I went to the PNE as part of our Anniversa-Ganza. We walked the fairway and smelled the donuts and ... well, ate the donuts.  We watched some highschoolers perform in a drumline, and I teared up. We shared a donair wrapped in red- and white-checked paper, and I teared up. We people-watched in the concert venue, and I smiled that warm Hallmark Television Special smile, thinking the best of this sea of humanity. We clapped and danced to Spirit of the West and I beamed my goodwill to the entire planet. All Was Well. So, So, Well.

As I drove to Park Royal this morning on a quick errand with Nate and found myself generously letting people in, and being extra courteous to all the mall grandmothers, I realized that my Good Will To All was probably a bit bigger than reality required. I thought back on my weekend and realized the whole world with its terrifying injuries and deep-fried goodness was probably not nearly as terrifying as I had experienced, nor were all those PNE-goers as awesome as I thought. As I checked my mirrors to change lanes and saw the warning about things being closer than they look, it occurred to me that this week things were actually further away than they looked. And suddenly I was a bit more evolved and self-loving.

If once every four weeks or so, I get to live in the World, Amplified Version and experience the Good as just a little bit better, then I think I'm okay with having to experience the Not So Good a little bit worse.

I'll let you know if the evolution lasts.

1 comment:

coolmama said...

I will be making a conscience effort to experience this in about a week....i'll let you know how it goes....