Two nights ago, some ladies prayed for me and prayed for a spirit of peace to descend on me like a dove. It was quite lovely and for about 24 hours I was hanging with the dove, all peace all the time.
Then last night some really light spotting, maybe light cramping. Sleep through the night. This morning, heavier spotting but so far not so much cramping except for when I think about it.
The Spirit of Peace has flown the coop. I am not sure how I'm meant to function through the day. I know that spotting can be "normal". I know that even if it's not, there's nothing I can do about it regardless. I know that we will be okay no matter what comes, that we are not forgotten and that God is nearby.
I just don't care. Right now, I want to be okay and safe and not afraid. I want my body NOT to do things that are scary and upsetting. I want to not be concious right now. Sleeping for the next several months seems like the most appealing option.
Help, help, help.
A.
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