Limited Release

A reference to widening the circle of trust (see "Meet the Parents") and to exhaling, just a little bit.

So first for the exhaling. As you may recall from the good doctor post a few days ago, I got to have some blood work done Saturday and Monday. And on Monday afternoon at 3, wicked awesome doctor phoned Scott and home and said I should call the office. Oh, and not to worry. So of course I worried and called the office and after much searching for the file, was told by lovely nurse lady that note in my file said "Tell patient the numbers are perfect."

These numbers are meant to double every 48 hours or so in these early weeks and while I didn't really hear what the numbers were, they were something like high four-thousands to mid-nine-thousands. So I think that's probably really truly decent news. Of course I phoned Scott right back and told him that I didn't believe these results, thus stealing yet more joy from the poor boy. But tonight I go to see my actual doctor and hopefully see the numbers myself and understand them a bit better and well, maybe all will be well for a bit longer.

I got to spend the evening with my sweet neighbours the Lambkins, and tried out making the announcement on Andy who has very valiently been acting like everything's normal. The upside to this is that you get to talk about it with people . The downside is that people get to talk about it with you. And people (and in this case, by "people" I mean "Andy") seem to act like this is all good news, like it's normal to talk about the age differences between our children and about not being able to drink in Hawaii. In December. Good grief. Clearly, he doesn't believe in jinxing. Happily, he does believe in God though and when he said grace at dinner, he prayed the right things for my soul and my husband and the life within. Actually called on Life as I recall and I was SO glad AGAIN to know that God has provided these people at this time for this thing. How great is that??

Then this morning, I got to chat with Katie who had called lots the night before after reading this very same blog all on her own. Dear me. I was sad she had read it before I phoned her, but glad because it made it so much easier to talk about because she already knew how this was going. Happily, she has called on the grandparents to watch out for me and keep those cells dividing as they should, so apparently I don't have to worry anymore. While I am worried about putting too much faith in my rather unreliable grandparents (they did all die early afterall, and in my mind that's the height of unreliability), it was good to know Katie was doing what she can. It was also so good to be known by someone who can tie the jinxing fear to BC Ferries. That is the power of sisterhood.

So slowly put surely, I am trying out releasing all manner of things. Releasing little bits of dread and fear. Releasing information to the further reaches of my world. Just a little bit. But this morning, I can so I will.