Is Jinxing Real?

One problem with being a tiny bit crazy is that ... well, you act a tiny bit crazy. One of my many crazinesses is a strong belief in the power of jinxing. You know, like when you say 5 minutes into the third period of a 4 - 0 hockey game, "Looks like they've got this one locked up" and then your team's defense falls apart and suddenly they're in overtime and this could be just one more crushing disappointment?

Yeah, so one of the ways I don't jinx things (in addition to not admitting a team I'm cheering for may win until the parking lot is empty) is by not doing things that might let the universe know that something good may or may not be happening near me. Kind of Chinese of me I think. Or is that Greek? I think all the best cultures have some variation of this, so probably both.

Anyway, all this to say that the current manifestation of this is a reluctance to do things like say, call a doctor. Or talk about the possibility of still being not unpregnant tomorrow, or in a few months. Scott said something about ... I don't know, I blocked it, but the subtext was that there would be a baby in our house at some point, and I about lost my mind! "SHHHhhh! Don't say things like that! They might hear you."

Hmm. So I guess I am writing this to say that if you are reading this ("you" being one of 3 people who know of the existence of this blog) maybe you could talk to God about delivering me from this. Because I'm pretty sure it's not healthy, and probably there is a better way to decide things like when to start not eating sushi than when they're not looking.

The part of me that knows that this is ridiculous knows that God isn't waiting for me to say the magic combination of words that unlocks the trap door marked MISCARRIAGE. That God is mostly just hanging out in here wondering when I'm going to stop looking around the room for the bad guys out to get me, and just enjoy this current gift. Because if the trap door gets sprung, I think probably he'll still be nearby saying something Comforter-like. Not laughing maniacally (how on earth is that spelled??), saying "I can't believe she fell for it!"

Probably he won't do that. Right?

Pray on friends.