Seven

Count yourself in friends.

That's what I want to say tonight.

This weekend my aunt threw herself a party.  She invited her people to come over and celebrate her. And when she sent out the invitation, we all said yes. Because, party.  And because, Auntie Cana.

Then the party happened and she stood up in front of her family, chosen and given, and said thank you. She said thanks for showing up.  For showing up for her party, but mostly, for showing up for her. She said it had been a hard few years with various terrible illnesses and body failures, but that she was so thankful that her people had shown up.

This was a deeply backwards thing for her to say because my aunt is the show-er upper. She's the one who gets shit done, takes care of people, takes care of her people.  She is capable and kind and good -deep down in her heart good. And capable. Did I mention capable?

I don't think anyone showed up at her party thinking, "Shit, it's been tough for her these last few years. Better do the old girl a solid and put in a face." I'm about a thousand percent sure everyone thought what I did:  "Celebrate Auntie Cana?! Yep. I'm in."  No favours, no obligation - pure pleasured joy at getting to show up for someone who always shows up for us. And cake. There was also going to be cake.

We underestimate ourselves so often. But we matter so much.  Just the showing up part matters so much. Sometimes it's true that it's not the one of us specifically, but the mass of us collectively that matters, but that mass requires all those ones to show up.  This is true of funerals, wedding, elections and birthday parties.  Each one of us has to count ourselves in so that all of us can stand together and say, This moment matters; You matter; You are loved.

And sometimes it's true that the one of us is the only one that matters. Some days our child only needs their parent. Some days our beloved only needs their beloved. Some days a stranger only needs someone who is willing to say, "how can I help".  Some days it's just YOU who is needed.

Auntie Cana is just one of many people I descend from who counted themselves in, who knew that just showing up with what you had to give is what matters.  And this weekend, because she knew to count herself in, we all got to count ourselves in, and there was the magic that happens when we all know we matter.

Please count yourselves in friends. Otherwise, we all miss out on the cake.