Eleven

My girl is a total liar and cheat.

It's such a happy moment for me! Finally, not alone in this family. Husband and son are fucking honest do-gooders.  Well, that's not true. But their crimes run to the mundane candy-thieving and thing-breaking-then-covering-up variety.

The girl committed fraud. Forged my signature. More than once.

Sadly, she did it in her agenda which as documents go, is pretty public, sitting right there in her book-bag and all.  And while I have definitely left it to her to bring me said agenda to sign, and have not commented when she doesn't, I have also been known to open it from time to time. Had she given it thought, she might have weighed the odds for been caught a bit more heavily.

The crime of course, is serious. Forgery is a trust-breaker, and hopefully between now and tomorrow morning, I'll have taken some serious action. I'm not great though, at the consequence part. Feeling terrible and contrite as she does, seems like consequence enough. Telling her teacher is going to be TERRIBLE for her.  Isn't feeling bad bad enough?? I'm not sure.  I'll probably ask around, and certainly if you reading this have thoughts, you should pass them along.

But the parenting gold for me is after the consequences, when we get to fix the trust. When I get to notice and point out how trust-worthy she's being, and point out how much better that is for all of us. That part, I'm going to really feel good about.

In the meantime, I'd like to believe that this is a moment that she will remember forever, that will shape her into her adult self in some kind of amazing way that she uses in sermons and motivational speeches in her lucrative career as Someone Earth Changing.  Probably that won't happen.

But probably it will be a pretty big moment for me in my parenting career. A moment where despite wanting to shout and yell when she would not say words for SO. MANY. LONG. MINUTES. I managed to stay quiet and cuddled. I found a way to be the person I want to be when I grow up, and it was like a little tiny parenting miracle.

This does not mean I got it "right", as far as her moral development goes.  Probably the right thing to do here is a bit more serious and a bit heavier on consequences. She could be ruined forever.

But I did get it Right, as far as my heart goes.  I can live with myself tonight, and feel hopeful about our tomorrow.  Winner winner, chicken dinner.