So of course, I'm pasting here for the review of my own friends, in the hopes that you, Faithful Readers, may have some insights to share.
Friend -Looking forward to being solved by you...
My own epiphany on this topic came this week: I linger in my anger and rage and disappointment because I like it so much. I love the energy and superiority these particular feelings provide - I just feel so good about myself when I am so angry and disappointed with just about anybody! (including me by the way, cause how awesome is it to be so much better than so many others because I'm the kind of person who knows myself so well?!)
So my own project is to find out if there are any other feelings or experiences that might be suitable replacements for anger and disappointment. They would have to match or exceed the pleasure and the intensity. I'll confess, my hope isn't high for my own transformation, but I think I owe it to the people I live with to try. Because as awesome as it is for me, I have just enough other-awareness to know it is poisoning their souls.
3 comments:
I think recognizing that it is disappointment rather than anger is a huge step. As one who can spend a disproportionate amount of time dreaming of alternate life scenarios, I'm not sure what emotion can replace anger and/or disappointment.
from one who has experienced disappointment and also dreams of alternate life scenarios on a regualar basis, I understand how soul poisoning it is. The only solution, no matter how redundant it may sound, comes from Jesus. The only suitable replacement would be HOPE. Hope for a better tomorrow, Hope that He works things together for Our Good, Hope for the future. Maybe this doesn't always provide the intensity and pleasure as other emotions, but HOPE, in my experience becomes more intense the more time i spend focusing on Him rather than myself. Thoughts?
My first thought was, "does 'I hope he isn't an asshole much longer' count?"
You can see what I'm working with right? (For the record, he hasn't been an asshole for a while, but when angry and disappointed, I usually think assholism is involved).
Hope. I know that hope and gratitude are probably the best disciplines for replacing the less-holy parts of ourselves, anger and disappointment included. I wonder about what Nat said about Hope gaining in intensity the more she focuses on Jesus... it doesn't have the immediacy I'm thinking of, but I think there is some good wisdom there.
One thing we learned about this week that I'm remembering is that laughter is probably a good emotional equivalent to swearing and if I switch from angry to funny, there might be hope.
Thanks for chiming in friends. I so appreciate it.
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