I'm a Junkie

It's probably good to know your weaknesses. That way you're not surprised when other people point them out and you can even prepare witty comebacks for the jabs people are certain to throw your way when faced with said weakness.

I may not have the healthiest worldview. I'm working on the comeback...

I do however, have some great weaknesses. Fear of jinxing, of course. That way too healthy self-esteem I've mentioned before. Scott probably keeps a list somewhere so I could fill this in a bit if you find it lacking. The point is, for the most part, I like my weaknesses. And I think I know the one I like the most: I'm a Belonging Junkie. I just love Belonging. I love it so much that I spend most of my days trying to build groups that I can belong to. Or, to which I can belong I guess.

Anyway, I realized the extent to which I'm addicted when the cancellation of the block party nearly undid me this afternoon. So sad was I at the prospect of not Belonging to my neighbourhood that I still hosted a Block Coffee in my (very small) livingroom, just to get a hit.

Now because I'm also a Universalist, in public I call this a weakness of mine, but am of course secretly convinced that it is in fact, a Human Weakness.  Happily, neighbours are happy to oblige. While the collection that arrived for block coffee was mostly of the young parent variety, one couple with children in college came in. Mr. Neighbour placed a box of cookies on the table and said they'd only come by to say hello and thank me for organizing things but that they couldn't stay. Mrs. Neighbour stood beside-behind her husband and nodded - they could not possibly stay.

But of course they could! I insisted, just one cup of coffee. Just a quick chat with our new neighbours they hadn't met before. Just a minute longer.  And stay they did. They edged closer to the grown-up table, even pulled up a chair. Eventually Mr. Neighbour even had a cup of coffee. Mrs. Neighbour didn't, but did chat with a couple of the others and compared soccer mom stories.

I said to Scott tonight, when it was all said and done, that they just needed to know they belonged. They were exactly who was supposed to be there because it wasn't a Mommy Coffee or a Jesus Coffee or a Cool Kid Coffee. It was a Block Coffee and they are the Block. This was the group they Belong To, just like me.

Just like me. I organize block parties every year just to have that feeling that I Belong with these people, that we are the In-Crowd in our town. I go to church and I Belong. I invite friends to coffee so that I Belong. I probably got married and had kids in an ultimate act of Belonging-Making.

And maybe I hope that the Secret Goodness of my Secret Weakness is that I sometimes make sure other people know They Belong Too.

Does that make me a dealer?