Lent: Day 2

Tonight I cheat.  CapChurch allowed me to write one of the responses and it was today's. It remains my prayer tonight, so I'll repost and trust that a prayer prayed twice is twice as heard.

Psalm 51

    For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.  ¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
   according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
   blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
   and cleanse me from my sin.
 ³ For I know my transgressions,
   and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
   and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
   and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
   sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
   you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
 ⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
   wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
   let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
   and blot out all my iniquity.
 ¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
   and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
   or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
 ¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
   so that sinners will turn back to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
   you who are God my Savior,
   and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord,
   and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
   you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
   a broken and contrite heart
   you, God, will not despise.

Reflection

But Lord, what about when I don't feel like I'm all that bad? When all I can see are the ones who are So Much Worse and the ones who are Doing Me Wrong? What if my darkest sin is that I don't truly believe myself sinful at all? What if I somehow forget that my broken - the broken that I find kind of innocuous, and frankly, a bit funny and cute - what if I forget that my broken is actually Really Broken and actually needs Real Forgiveness?  Actually needs Real Repentence?

Show me the truth.  The Whole Truth.  When all I see are how others fail, bring my eyes back to my own cracked heart. When all I hear are words that hurt and offend me, bring my ears back to my own sharp tongue.  When all I feel are others' arrows in my heart, remind me of the quiver of anger I carry on my own back and maybe help me put it down.

And then, maybe then can you remind me that all this broken yuck is the part that you came for? is the part that you redeem and turn into goodness? Can you remind me that indeed remembering my own deep cracks is the beginning of remembering your own deep love?  Please?