We have a just-right sized house in a community full of people we care for.
We both have jobs that are fine. We do not always spend our days doing what we are built for, but we are paid enough to keep our home and feed each other, and live generously with our friends and neighbours.
We have most of our family within a five-minute drive and then a few more half-an-hour away and the other two just six hours away.
We do not have a lot of clarity about what the point is right now. The vision and mission part - that's what is missing.
We are low on community these days, more now than we have been in a long time.
What is so wrong exactly?
It's that part where we don't have a point.
For the first few years the point was trying to get pregnant, trying to become a family. Then the point was trying to keep those babies alive and just get through. Then the point was helping Joanne die. then the point was getting Scott back on a fire truck.
But now there's no point.
I worry if we don't come up with a point soon, we'll be given a new one. A new terrible one like more dying parents or joblessness. Or worse.
To love God and worship God forever. That's supposed to be the Grand Point of It All, but I think I'm looking for something a bit more specific.
Love God and love your neighbours. And who is your neighbour? Whoever you come across who needs what it is you have to give. That's my own personal point, my grand guiding mission and vision. Can it be all of ours?
So then the work is to just keep journeying with eyes open for those who need what it is we have to give. And to be maybe be sure to be living in what it is we have to give so that it's easy to be giving it away.
And what is it then that we have to give, our little foursome? Maybe that's what needs to be lingered on next?
No exorcism today. Maybe tomorrow.
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