If your sweet bean decides one night that 3am is the new 8am and celebrates by fussing and houdini-ing her way out of her swaddling and when your wife finally caves and tries to give her some boob to see if maybe that will fake her back into sleeping and the baby gnaws on said boob in such a way that only intensifies the "needles in my eyeballs" pain that is a breastfeeding nipple these days and your wife exclaims, MOTHERFUCKER GET OFF! here is one thing you should not turn over and say:
"The level of your anger concerns me."
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
What a Difference a Month Makes
Our first family photo, June 3, 2007:
That is Talia Grace Caldwell Johnson with her parents Alison and Scott, aka Tired and Exhilarated. Talia was born at 6:20pm on the third after a remarkably wonderful labour. Midwife Irene was there, with friend Brynne and Scott had the amazing privilege of actually delivering his daughter into the world. It was magical as it turns out, especially now that I don't remember the pain.
I will not detail labour here, except to say that it progressed quickly and I was so well-supported the entire time that I didn't have a chance to give up. A great gift to start off this family life of ours.
We were cared for overnight at Lions Gate Hospital by Nurse Barbara and left the next day around 2pm. We were able to walk to and from the hospital which will make for a good story over the years, good news as I could not say in truth that it was a "good time" (if you don't know the good time/good story rule, do ask).
Grandma Caldwell (aka Dottie) was there that afternoon to babysit while Scott and I napped and then life with baby truly began that evening. We had a wonderful first week together, with Katie and Jared here to meet Talia and lots of visits from everybody!
Here is a favourite photo of Steve and Dottie (we have yet to settle on grandparents' names and this was Andrew's vote) with Baby Talia at Week One or so. They are such good grandparents and have been giving sweet Talia an inordinate amount of love these last weeks. Both dropped by yesterday on their way home from the respective work places for a quick Talia Fix. Too cute.
A particularly sweet thing that I must make note of is the loveliness of Mum becoming Grandma. I'm not sure how to write it down, but if you've read earlier posts from my pregnancy, you'll know that I wasn't an ideal Pregnant Daughter. I was a reluctant sharer of the process, slow to warm to mom/daughter shopping sprees and lingering longing and planning over tea together the way I think both of us thought those months should be.
But now that Talia is here, it's all okay and I think we are that way. Mum of course wants to be here all the time, and oddly for both of us, I want her here all the time. I love having her nearby to hold the girl, or make lunch or agree that the way those other people do things is CRAZY. I give serious thought to 3 generation living and wonder how Scott would feel about me living with my parents when he's working. Not because I need them so much, but more because I want them. Who would have guessed?? I don't think either Mum or I would have and so we are constantly delighted to find ourselves still loving this new phase. Oh thank you, thank you, thank you.
This is Talia being coy at about 2 weeks. She is full of funny faces, and just as I thought during pregnancy, she is a funny girl in general, who makes us all laugh often. Although, she has also made us cry once or twice. And by 'us', I mean me. This mothering gig is a tough one and although we hear it often, I don't know that any of us truly believe it until it is MY nipple on fire, and MY sleep being compromised, and MY inability to discern what that cry means leaving my child upset for far too long... The first 3 weeks, I was determined to just have her fit into my life, without allowing her to really change my life. Thus there are photos of Talia at Old Navy at a week old, and Talia out for coffees at less than that, and Talia on holiday and with cousins and taking Daddy lunch... all in the first few weeks.
But that way doesn't work. At least not for me. And of course now I have to believe it can't truly work for anyone.
Life does change. I do have to do less. Or at least less of what I used to. In so many ways, I do more. 6 - 8 hours breastfeeding a day. Lord knows how long is devoted to diaper changing and baby jiggling. When I think of it like that, adding a load of laundry to the day AND making a dinner for us is the most productive I've been in years. So how do we come to believe that the child-loving part doesn't count?? Oh the insidious evil of it all...
But child-loving is such a great way to live these days. Despite my failures, real and perceived, I love it. I love her. I love seeing her wake up and try out every single muscle in her face, every time. I love kisses and cuddles and her confusion when I try to read her a story ("Do you even know how old I am??"). But mostly, I love Scott.
This is Daddy cuddled with his sweet daughter. I don't think there was ever any question for me about whether or not Scott would be a good dad. But to see it in person, to watch him be in love with this one from the very first hour... It is too sweet, too wonderful, too much to behold. Scott is tired and works too many hours and is taking such good care of us and I can't even think how to thank him. Hopefully Daddy and Talia canoodling after the early morning feeding frenzy is a thank you of some kind his heart can receive. Because I remain SO thankful. For him. For the father of my daughter who is loving her so well, so deeply, so truly.
This is the Johnson family at 3 weeks, 5 days. We are well.
That is Talia Grace Caldwell Johnson with her parents Alison and Scott, aka Tired and Exhilarated. Talia was born at 6:20pm on the third after a remarkably wonderful labour. Midwife Irene was there, with friend Brynne and Scott had the amazing privilege of actually delivering his daughter into the world. It was magical as it turns out, especially now that I don't remember the pain.
I will not detail labour here, except to say that it progressed quickly and I was so well-supported the entire time that I didn't have a chance to give up. A great gift to start off this family life of ours.
We were cared for overnight at Lions Gate Hospital by Nurse Barbara and left the next day around 2pm. We were able to walk to and from the hospital which will make for a good story over the years, good news as I could not say in truth that it was a "good time" (if you don't know the good time/good story rule, do ask).
Grandma Caldwell (aka Dottie) was there that afternoon to babysit while Scott and I napped and then life with baby truly began that evening. We had a wonderful first week together, with Katie and Jared here to meet Talia and lots of visits from everybody!
Here is a favourite photo of Steve and Dottie (we have yet to settle on grandparents' names and this was Andrew's vote) with Baby Talia at Week One or so. They are such good grandparents and have been giving sweet Talia an inordinate amount of love these last weeks. Both dropped by yesterday on their way home from the respective work places for a quick Talia Fix. Too cute.
A particularly sweet thing that I must make note of is the loveliness of Mum becoming Grandma. I'm not sure how to write it down, but if you've read earlier posts from my pregnancy, you'll know that I wasn't an ideal Pregnant Daughter. I was a reluctant sharer of the process, slow to warm to mom/daughter shopping sprees and lingering longing and planning over tea together the way I think both of us thought those months should be.
But now that Talia is here, it's all okay and I think we are that way. Mum of course wants to be here all the time, and oddly for both of us, I want her here all the time. I love having her nearby to hold the girl, or make lunch or agree that the way those other people do things is CRAZY. I give serious thought to 3 generation living and wonder how Scott would feel about me living with my parents when he's working. Not because I need them so much, but more because I want them. Who would have guessed?? I don't think either Mum or I would have and so we are constantly delighted to find ourselves still loving this new phase. Oh thank you, thank you, thank you.
This is Talia being coy at about 2 weeks. She is full of funny faces, and just as I thought during pregnancy, she is a funny girl in general, who makes us all laugh often. Although, she has also made us cry once or twice. And by 'us', I mean me. This mothering gig is a tough one and although we hear it often, I don't know that any of us truly believe it until it is MY nipple on fire, and MY sleep being compromised, and MY inability to discern what that cry means leaving my child upset for far too long... The first 3 weeks, I was determined to just have her fit into my life, without allowing her to really change my life. Thus there are photos of Talia at Old Navy at a week old, and Talia out for coffees at less than that, and Talia on holiday and with cousins and taking Daddy lunch... all in the first few weeks.
But that way doesn't work. At least not for me. And of course now I have to believe it can't truly work for anyone.
Life does change. I do have to do less. Or at least less of what I used to. In so many ways, I do more. 6 - 8 hours breastfeeding a day. Lord knows how long is devoted to diaper changing and baby jiggling. When I think of it like that, adding a load of laundry to the day AND making a dinner for us is the most productive I've been in years. So how do we come to believe that the child-loving part doesn't count?? Oh the insidious evil of it all...
But child-loving is such a great way to live these days. Despite my failures, real and perceived, I love it. I love her. I love seeing her wake up and try out every single muscle in her face, every time. I love kisses and cuddles and her confusion when I try to read her a story ("Do you even know how old I am??"). But mostly, I love Scott.
This is Daddy cuddled with his sweet daughter. I don't think there was ever any question for me about whether or not Scott would be a good dad. But to see it in person, to watch him be in love with this one from the very first hour... It is too sweet, too wonderful, too much to behold. Scott is tired and works too many hours and is taking such good care of us and I can't even think how to thank him. Hopefully Daddy and Talia canoodling after the early morning feeding frenzy is a thank you of some kind his heart can receive. Because I remain SO thankful. For him. For the father of my daughter who is loving her so well, so deeply, so truly.
This is the Johnson family at 3 weeks, 5 days. We are well.
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