What if it turned out that the very worst things we do (yes, even that) are fuelled by a desire for something good to happen?
I think about this a lot as a parent. I find it easier to stay calm in the middle of my child's shit-storm when I can find it in myself to believe that the child is trying to make something good happen and just got a bit derailed by hard stuff along the way. I am trying to remember that it may be true of my beloved husband too; that his worst transgressions against me, like eating too loud, may be in fact his own effort to make something good happen, like nutrition.
I've been thinking about it a lot, watching the most recent version of the world falling apart. It's horrendous, what's happening out there in the world. The planet is running out of steam for dealing with our bullshit, while we run out of steam for dealing with each other's bullshit, all of it happening faster and faster all the time. It's terrifying.
But.
It's also peace-making for me, now that I wonder about what good each bad actor is trying to make happen. What gets done is awful, but what is hoped for is wonderful. Heart-breaking often, these unmet bids for goodness with life-wrecking outcomes. But there is love in this heart for the heart that is seeking goodness, every time.
Life is a long, hard wander but the hunt for goodness has given me purpose along the way. So there's that.
