I don't want to type a lot tonight but I want to remember this part: sometimes people start saying things to a person or about a person that are kind and affirming and that make a person feel all Possible inside. And mostly a person believes those things until they run into the part of themselves that believes that believing good things about one's own self is conceit and sinful and so they might try to start remembering their flaws and not-so-greats. And then that might person might end up in a big ball of conflictedness because of course secretly they believe themselves to be awesome (and actually, between you and me, a bit awesomer) but then they know that there are some fairly deep flaws that sometimes obscure said awesomeness and probably those are a bit truer than the other bits.
That person might then start to wonder then about what they see in others and that person might realize that often they really do mostly see and observe and comment on other people's not-so-greats, mostly because those not-so-great bits are the parts that make that first person's life so miserable most days. And so then that person wonders if it would be possible to become the kind of person who instead lives with other people's awesome, because really, wouldn't that be awesome?
Finally, that person quits and hopes to Jesus that awesome really, truly does show up.
